I typically know where I’m going when I sit down to hammer out a blog post. I always start out with a plan. A goal. Frequently, I end up detouring, and it’s not unusual at all for a post to end up in a completely different spot than I expected. But I start with a plan.

Today you are in for a treat. I have no idea where I’m going. For me, this is risky.

My handful of regular readers may have noticed there hasn’t been anything new in this space for a while. I thought about apologizing for my absence and explaining it away. I’m not going to do that. My brief absence was unanticipated, as usual, because I’m not one of those business-like, plan ahead bloggers. Maybe one day I will be, but not yet.

When I’m not writing, I’m often not reading, either. There were something like 470 unread items in my reader and email. I will never catch up and won’t even pretend to try. We’re starting fresh. Again.

Nice to meet you.

So. What’s on my mind this morning? The routine, or the lack of one, as has been the case lately.

We’re big on routine around here. Last week we spent the night at my parents’ house, and I had the opportunity to share a room with H. If you’ve ever had the privilege of sharing a room or a bed with a four year old, you know it’s not a particularly restful experience. H rustles around a lot, has partial wakings, occasionally talks in his sleep and is generally somewhat noisy. In the morning I asked him how his night was and mentioned that I noticed a lot of activity coming from his bed.

Mom, I do that every night.

I wake up, I rustle around, then I go back to sleep. I rustle arrrrouuuund. I go back to sleep. I rustle arrrrouuuund. I go back to sleep. I rustle arrrrouuuund. I go back to sleep.

It’s just my routine.

The entire discussion made me laugh, but the fact that he used the word routine was especially funny. I was not aware of how clued in the kids are to my attempt for some regularity to our days. I assumed they felt safe and relaxed, but that perhaps they didn’t fully grasp why they felt that way. Turns out, H at least is paying attention enough to catch on, and to know all the buzz words that Mark and I throw out when we’re talking about our plans, schedules and routines.

I have always wanted to be a laid back, roll with it girl. At times, I can be that girl. I don’t need every minute of every day planned out. I am 100% okay with not knowing what we’re going to eat for dinner until 30 seconds before I start cooking. (Mark is not okay with this. He would prefer to know weeks in advance, but barring that option, he would like to know what we’re eating for dinner by the time he is finished with breakfast. Poor man married the wrong woman.) I need to know when, approximately, we’re eating, but I don’t need to know what we’re eating.

With regard to the big picture, long term stuff I can also roll with it. A bit. I feel like we have little – or no – control over most of what’s coming our way. What’s the saying? Man plans, God laughs. Amen, my sisters and brothers. While I want to have a directional idea and a goal, I do not get caught up in the minutiae. I know I’ll just end up disappointed. I really, really have a hard time changing course after my mind is set. Therefore, I try not to get too set on any one endgame. I have learned to mentally leave room for change.

So what I’m talking about here is the day-to-day grind. My children and I thrive on a routine. When we’re without a schedule for too long, you can forget about it. We all lose our minds. That’s kind of what happened over the last couple weeks (perhaps an explanation for my lack of blogging, but as I said, I offer no excuses).

The month of August was our free month. No school. No camps. No VBS. No vacations. Just us, hanging out. Oh, it sounded so good on August 1. By August 31 we were stark, raving lunatics.

H took to asking me, roughly 52 times every day, “What fun are we going to do? Do we have any plans for something exciting?”

And P? That little one was quite literally attempting to climb the walls.

It did not matter if we got out and did something active every day – and we did. As I watched the month of August unravel, I realized that physically and mentally stimulating activities are only a piece of the puzzle. The other, bigger, more important piece is the routine.

When we know what’s coming next, we have a better time right now. When we have an idea of what tomorrow brings, we enjoy today.

My guess is that we’re not alone in this need for a routine. Give my family a huge chunk of free time and we can’t handle it. We come unhinged without even realizing what’s happening to us. My guess is that a lot of people, particularly those with small children, thrive on having a plan. We are all so thankful that preschool is once again in session and our weeks will now have a more consistent rhythm.

And I wonder why that is?

:: Why do you need (or not need, if that’s the case) a routine?

:: I wonder why we (my family) really do fit the old adage about getting more done with less (time, that is)?

:: I’d love to hear any stories you have about your reaction, or your family’s reaction, to a lack of routine.