A Saturday Quickie. Not that kind of quickie. Leave it to you to automatically go there. No, this is a quick post, friend. A quick post.

Have you ever wondered what babies can hear and see while still safely ensconced in your uterus? Today my worst fears were confirmed, and I am pretty sure they hear and see everything.

I watched a lot of Seinfeld late at night when I had terrible insomnia with my first baby. During our post-lunch dance party today, my four-year-old proudly showed off his moves. He looks exactly like this.

My real concern, though, is not the ridicule he’s going to suffer at his first school dance. Character building and all. No, my real concern is that I also watched a lot of Law & Order when pregnant. A lot. Enough to pass the NYC Detective Exam or the New York State Bar. I hope the baby slept through all of the drugs, sex and murder. It’s one thing to watch him dance like Elaine, but I’m not prepared to sit stoically through his trial, quietly weeping on my husband’s shoulder, ruing all those nights I spent with Jerry Orbach.