Not a plank. A toenail.
There was a toenail in my eye.
Just typing it completely grosses me out. My guess is you’re both disgusted and curious. I can’t help you with the disgust, but I can solve your curiosity.
As I was clipping my toddler’s toenails, one of his little nails flew out of the clippers and right up into my eye. I blinked a few times, didn’t feel it anymore and went on with my day.
Ten hours later, my eye started to hurt. There was kind of a dull, throbbing pain in the back of my eye, and a sharper, more irritating pain around the front, specifically in area of my lower eyelid.
My husband and I were having a glass of wine and reviewing the endless to-do list (I mean, how is that for romance, baby? Ugh. We are old, married people.). I was so distracted by this eye irritant that I finally asked him to take a look.
Me: One of P’s toenails flew in my eye today and I think it must have left a scratch or something. Can you look?
[Imagine befuddled husband here.]
Mark: A what flew in your where?
Me: A toenail. In my eye. What’s so hard to understand?
[I pull my lower lid down a bit so he can look for the scratch.]
[Imagine horrified, creeped out husband here.]
Mark: I can see it. Hold still.
Me: Is it a big scratch?
Mark: No, I don’t see a scratch… I see a toenail!
[Imagine totally mortified me.]
Let’s just consider this for a second. There was a toenail, albeit a tiny, baby toenail, in my eye for ten hours. In my eye. For ten hours.
What, exactly, is the craziest part of this story? I have no idea. Is it that a toenail flew out of the clippers and into my eye in the first place? Or the fact that said toenail remained in my eye (in. my. eye.) for ten hours? Ten!
I knew that motherhood would entail sacrifices, pain, suffering and giving up some parts of me for the betterment of my children. I prepared myself for years of wiping (bottoms, noses, sticky counters and floors…). I prepared myself for lack of sleep. I prepared myself for trips to the ER and broken hearts and the eventual empty nest when the boys grow up. I prepared myself for baby giggles, family dinners, trips to the zoo. I prepared myself for amazing firsts. And days filled with hope. Nights filled with dreams.
I did not, in any way, prepare myself to one day remove my child’s toenail from my eye socket.
I kind of like the symmetry here, to be honest. I carried the child for ten months. I carried his toenail for ten hours. That’s nice, isn’t it?
I wonder, what’s your weirdest parenting-related injury?
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Two notes:
1. My eye is fine. Thank you for asking. It’s a bit watery and I still have a dull ache, but I am fairly certain there’s no permanent damage. At least not to my eye. I’m not sure Mark or I will ever look at a toenail the same way again.
2. What’s up with eyes this week? And P, for that matter? First he gets a shiner, and then his toenail is the culprit in this mishap. Not sure what to make of that…
Lapsed homemaker. Looking to hire a full-time housekeeper who will work for the sheer joy of a job well done and free coffee. Interested parties, DM please. 
hmmm… i’ve been smacked in the forehead by toddler toe-nails before, but hearing about one being stuck in an eye for ten hours is a first. at least you got it out?
i don’t really have any weird parenting related injuries. i am clumsy enough on my own. just a couple weeks ago i bent over to pick up a basket of dirty laundry, and conveniently “forgot” that there was a dresser next to it. i smacked my forehead full force into the dresser, and had a huge lump and near-concussion from my own idiocy.
fun times.
@Nobody, I’ve done that before, too – ouch!!
What a bizarre parenting injury. I’m so happy to hear you got it out! That could have caused a major infection if it were left in any longer (though all things considered, you are VERY lucky you survived 10 hours with toenail in eye!). I guess there’s no way to be prepared for everything, eh? 🙂
@Charlotte, That is the truth – and a good lesson for me, actually. I should just stop trying to be so on top of everything, because I can’t possibly prepare for it all. 🙂
I’m still bitter that I can’t go more than 8 hours at night without having to pee. I used to have a stronger bladder.
@liz, Yes, the nighttime trip. A bummer.
Oh my! That’s quite a story! There are so many converstations my husband and I have had where we stop midsentence b/c we realize the ridiculous content..kids will do that to you!
But…a toenail in the eye? You win for craziest mom story (mishap) I’ve heard in a long time!
Parenting related injury? Threw my back out from constantly twisting around in the car to hand my kids their snacks, books, toys…etc…just to keep them quiet.
@Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom), Yes – the twisting and turning in the car is so hard on your back. Once when my little one didn’t feel well he cried unless I held his hand, so I spent the entire 30ish minutes in the car twisted around and reaching to his hand! The things we do…
Seriously? That is so crazy. It must be one of those Murphy Laws!
Tiny toenail carried for ten hours = baby carried for nine months, no wait that’s not right, hubby should have had the toenail in his eye, then it would equal!
@SuziCate, I like the way you think. Yes, it’s my husband’s turn to have some sort of inconvenient, uncomfortable kid-related malady! 😉
Did I miss the part where it came out? By whose hand? Was that hard to do?
That’s a bonding activity if ever there was one….
@Alyson: Common Sense, Dancing, That wasn’t really clear was it? I was able to get it out myself fairly easily. I don’t like to think about where it had been all day, but when we discovered it, it easily popped right out. My engineer husband was ready to assist, though. He was getting supplies together – water, gloves, etc. He kills me!
I am horrified actually. I’m horrified for you. What a mom you are. Carrying the plank around all day. What a mom!
@Christina, Don’t you think there should be a prize? I believe I will go to Nordstrom on Saturday and select a prize. 😉
Holy mother of flying monkeys! This story was horrific!
Please be careful next time, if there is a next time, sounds like a job for dad from now on if you ask me.
@Yuliya, Mark got me a pair of safety glasses to wear next time. Thanks, hon, really. I’m with you – it’s time for dad to take on the nail clipping.
OUCH! Nothing like an out of control toenail to ruin your day!
@Jennie @ Modern Mamaz, Amen to that!
Well, a couple silver linings:
1) it was your baby’s toenail and not your husbands – my big toenail is pretty solid and that sucker goes FLYING when I clip it.
2) you asked your hubs to look in your eye – it could’ve been freakier had the toenail just started emerging from the bottom of your eye as you were talking to your husband.
@Pop, At first I laughed so hard I snorted at the idea of it being my husband’s toenail. And then I gagged a bit. 😉 You are right, though. It could have been way worse!
Baby gates were the bane of my existance. More than once, I was unable to golf on my usual Tuesday night because of catching my littlest toe on the gate while going over it. This resulted in a busted and purple and horribly painful little toe. Try shoving one of those in a shoe.
@kimmie, Ouch! Baby and kid-related stuff – gates, toys, etc. – are magnets for busted toes. Or the tiny lego foot puncture – that’s always fun, too. Kids are hazardous to our health.
OMG, that is hilarious. I mean, not so hilarious for you, but a great story for us! This just gives me even more reason to completely shirk the chore of chopping my boy’s nails. I leave this job to my poor, dear husband.
@Kristy, I wish my husband would do the clipping! He cut our oldest once when H was very little, and it totally scarred Mark. He hasn’t clipped a nail since. I think it’s time for him to get back on that horse and face his fears…
That had me laughing like crazy!! Hope the eye is completely healed now! Truly, there is no part of parenting that is not surprising and, at times, completely mystifying.
Truly, who knew safety goggles should be worn when clipping toe nails!
@Amy ~ Eat. Live. Laugh. Shop., I know! I knew parenting would have its pitfalls, but never could have imagined this… I highly recommend getting yourself a pair of safety glasses. 🙂
I’m looking forward to meeting you in a couple weeks, too!
Oh – and I look forward to meeting you in Austin at BBC!
This is just beyond fabulous! Oh my! It kind of rivals the diaper poop that got in my mouth one time, but we won’t talk about that.
I really love a good eye story and here’s mine: I can see again! A big whoot-whoot! and a tall glass of wine are in order.
thank you for thinking of me and putting me on your blogroll schmogroll. It really helped in such a dark week.
@joann mannix, The poop. Nobody can prepare you for the places that stuff will end up. Blech.
My little one complains bitterly when I change his diaper and just look at him and say, “I did not wake up today thinking, ‘Yay! I get to change dirty diapers today!’ This is no party for me, either, buddy.”
He is unsympathetic to my plight.
PS – So glad you can see again! 🙂
This happened so many times, that I now use cheapy 1.99 fake-o glasses from WalMart just bought solely for the toenail clipping purpose.
This is serious biz, you know. Scared me to death the first time one rocketed into my eye.
@Alexandra, Ahhh. Sorry I never responded. Last week got away from me.
I love, love the idea of fake glasses. That’s way better than the actual safety glasses Mark suggested I wear!
I don’t mean to chuckle at your misfortune, but this post was funny. I think you’re pretty lucky that the eye is well after the 10-hour ordeal!
@Jennifer G., It’s okay to laugh. It’s too crazy NOT to laugh!
My apologies for the slow reply. I was away from the computer for a few days last week, and things just got away from me!
Wow. I don’t think I’ve EVER heard of this before. Although, it did make me laugh.
@Amber, Weird ailments are kind of a specialty of mine, but this one is the weirdest. I am glad, at least, that it was both funny and weird. 🙂
Just found this post after googling “toe nail in the eye” because the Exact same thing just happened to me. It didn’t take me and my husband(he gave me a weird look also) 10 hours to flush it out but the 45 mins it did take was horrible. The fact that it came out cleaner than I’m sure it went in is what sent me to google. I’ll be wearing safety goggles next time I cut little man’s nails.
I’m so glad you commented! This is one of my favorite stories, and I still share it with people all the time. And nail clipping is still one of my least favorite parenting chores. Ha. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget your safety goggles from now on.