The other day I was on the phone with a friend and casually mentioned that I was planning to schedule flu shots for the family. The walking set of ears – you may know him as H, our four year old – heard me and immediately burst into tears.
I had to pause my conversation to see what all the wailing was about.
Through snot and tears, H managed to eek out, “I don’t want to get a shot!”
Here we go, I thought. After last year, though, I was ready. I diffused my little guy with one, magic word. Keep reading to find out how I, much like MacGyver, employed a normal, every day object to prevent disaster.
The following account details last year’s experience with flu shots. I wrote this post for a private blog that is essentially a diary for the boys. The blog is written for family, and a few friends who are sweet enough to care about our children almost as much as we do. So, yes, I’m recycling, but it’s new to you. Please enjoy today’s like-new post.
*********************************************************************************
H had a flu shot today. You would think we amputated a limb. Mark took him to the doctor, and the only reason H agreed to leave the house in first place was the promise a doughnut after the “shock.” That’s what he calls shots, and he’s not wrong, really. It is shocking when the nurse jams a needle into your thigh.
They had not been gone very long when H called me from the car, told me that it was over, and that he had cried but was finished crying now. He happily reported that they were off to get doughnuts. Wahoo.
Cut to 30 minutes later. Mark and H arrive at home, along with a hefty dose of drama.
H limped through the back door, whimpering: “Oh, Mama, I need sweat pants. Soft sweat pants. My leg hurts so bad.”
Me: “Let’s wash your hands and you can have a doughnut. Would that help?”
H: “Yes, but I just need those sweat pants first. To cover my shock. Then I can eat a doughnut.”
(Note – he may not be my child, because I could actually lose a limb and I would eat my doughnut before calling 911. Or maybe I would call 911 and then eat the doughnut while waiting on the ambulance to arrive. Either way, I’d stop to eat that doughnut before getting medical attention.)
I go retrieve the sweat pants. It’s a new pair.
H eyes the pants suspiciously: “Mama, those are new. Are they soft? Really soft? They won’t help if they’re not soft.”
Me: “Oh, H, here – just feel them already.”
H, grinning: “Those are soft. I feel better already.”
Well, thank goodness. I was beginning to worry about your survival, kid.
And so we had some Motrin, a doughnut, a pair of sweat pants and Dora the Explorer. We know how to self medicate around here.
I’m going to get my flu shot tomorrow. I will definitely need a doughnut.
*********************************************************************************
Please don’t send me nasty emails about the danger of vaccinations. Yes, Jenny McCarthy, I’m talking to you.
Nor do I wish to hear how bad doughnuts and Dora are for my children. Granted, I think Dora is a blight on humanity and keep hoping that Boots will turn feral, carting her off to the jungle, never to be heard from again.
But last year after his brother was born, H needed Dora. And he needed her again after his flu shot. A little Dora now and then never killed anyone.
And really, let’s be honest. We all need a doughnut now and then.
So back to how I MacGyver’d my way out of H’s flu shot-related meltdown the other day. I looked him right in the eye and said, “You get a shot, you get a doughnut. Do we have a deal?”
Tears stopped. He now asks me every. single. day. if it’s flu shot day yet. I can’t wait to tell him that Friday is the day. All four of us are going on a little Flu Shot Field Trip, followed by medicinal doughnuts.
I wonder, do you soothe rough patches for your kids – doctor’s visits, bad days, scary situations – with treats, edible or otherwise? What’s your take on the occasional bribe?
Lapsed homemaker. Looking to hire a full-time housekeeper who will work for the sheer joy of a job well done and free coffee. Interested parties, DM please. 
As someone who not only has children of her own, but happens to work with young children on a daily basis, I am ALL ABOUT bribes. 🙂 There’s a good reason my youngest has a room full of stuffed puppies. 🙂
@Robin Winkles, Just today I was watching P. go totally wild man, practically climbing the walls, and thought about our photo shoot. You’re going to need your entire bag of tricks! 😉 Maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt – he was so good last year. We can always hope for a repeat!
so interesting that we both wrote about satisfying our children with doughnuts today.
hmmm…
@liz, And what does it say about me (probably that I’m half brain dead) that I read your post and did not make the comparison of doughnuts-to-doughnuts. Thank goodness I don’t have to take the SAT and compare/contrast two passages. Not sure I could get into college anymore…
By the way, I’ve never had the Dunkin Donuts pumpkin doughnut. Might *need* to check that out this week.
i am all about bribing under most, I mean correct, circumstances. Our ped actually gives the kids suckers or pretzels after shots!
it doesn’t hurt anyone. and neither does a donut.
now that I know H, I can picture this scenario 100%. 🙂
@gigi, Our ped only gives stickers. I might mention that sugar would go a long way toward fewer tears!
i don’t get my kids sweets/snacks much when we’re at home. at-home snacks are limited to nutrigran bars, cheese, and fruit, for the most part. when we’re out and about, i let them indulge a little bit. it’s definitely worth a lollipop to have my daughter be quiet and still at the bank. it’s worth a Happy Meal after getting shots to soothe the tears, and on summer days we even get icecream when we’re out and about. i am all about bribing my kids with a small snack or a trip to somewhere special to keep them well-behaved when it counts.
@Nobody, I’m with you. At home – MOST of the time – it’s no fun, healthy snacks. That way, when I need the big guns, I can pull out a treat and save the day!
Vaccinations are of the DEVIL!!!
Just kidding.
: )
Sometimes TV is needed. Seriously.
Oh, and donuts (or, for me, muffins) are ALWAYS needed.
@Amber, TV gets such a bad rap, but any mother who does not at least occasionally resort to it is either a) a liar or b) not human. I don’t think kids should watch much TV, but now and then it’s a life saver!
I bribe and proud of it! Actually both my boys had to get shots today. My 4 yr old screamed like someone was ripping off his arm. My almost 2 yr old turned his head and said ‘ouch’, really! So I bribe. It always helps ease the pain a bit 🙂
@Tina @ Life Without Pink, I’m all about easing the pain, too! I’m so impressed that your little guy was such a trooper. I hope at least one of mine can hold it together this year!
I’m totally laughing – that dirty little secret that we boy moms like to keep on the down low – the drama can outrank any hormonal girl on her worst day.
LOVE that the sweatpants had to be the old, super soft variety.
Hate to mention this, but have you tried FluMist?
He’ll still need a donut to kill the taste 🙂
Our weapon of choice around here are Jolly Ranchers.
@ash, The mist is a great idea. I’m sure we’ll have some sort of drama with that, too, but it’s worth a try!
The drama these boys can bring is shocking to me. I was ill prepared, thinking boys would be so much more even tempered. Ha. Maybe teenage boys will be less dramatic? We can hope…
Oh Missy, why did you have to bring up the “S” word?! My kids have to get all of theirs next month and it’s not gonna be pretty, just sayin’.
The Girl is pretty cool with it all. The Boy is totally wacko karazy when it comes to Shots. I mean, hysterical kinda crying. Did I mention he just turned 11??? Oy!!
@Christina, So we could still have this level of insanity at age 11?? I am so hopeful that the promise of doughnuts will save us some agony this year. I’m delusional, most likely.
Are you kidding? I love bribes (I mean rewards)! You mean there are people out there who don’t resort to them? C’mon life is tough when you’re little and you have to get a “shock”…a little doughnut and Dora is the least we can do:)
We’re due for ours this weekend and I’m sure there will be lollipops at the ready and probably some chocolate milk too!!
@Melissa (Confessions of a Dr.Mom), I should remember to play the chocolate milk card more often! I never think about it and my son thinks it is a true delicacy. He’s amazed that I can make it. Ha.
When my son turned 2 he got all his 2 yr shot plus a flu shot. So 7 shots. Bang bang bang they were all done. No tears. Just an “ow!”.
My daughter just got a single flu shot. She was all drama. Couldn’t walk the rest of the night. Jumped on one leg till I picked get up. Was hilarious how much of a drama queen she was. My son would ask “what’s wrong with Addy?”
That’s my flu shot story.
@Matt N, I am really hoping my little one is like your two year old. Odds are against me, but a girl can hope!
@Wonderfriend, I’ll be taking him in 20 day to get his year 3 shots, and flu shot, and then an hour later to the dentist. Hopefully it’s a repeat performance