I didn’t anticipate writing about this, but decided I need to weigh in. I’ll keep this brief (as if I am able to keep my posts brief, but I am really trying to…).

Abby Sunderland, age 16, is sailing around the world. Alone. Solo. Around the world.

Gahhhhh.

Since I read reports that she was feared missing – or dead – I have not been able to stop thinking about her. About her family. And I’m wondering, what were they all thinking?

I’ve been bouncing around some tweets about this today, and I’m aware that I’m coming across as a judgmental you-know-what. I am not practicing what I preach. I am not supporting Abby’s mother in her choices. I am not sharing the moms-unite-and-give-each-other-a-much-needed-break love.

The thing is, my boys are little, and as I tweeted earlier today, they barely pee by themselves. Technically, the older one goes it alone, but he frequently misses the bowl. I can’t fathom him navigating the globe when he can’t even navigate the toilet bowl.

What I meant to say, is that I’m sure being the parent of a 16-year-old is vastly different than parenting children ages four and under. I know Abby’s family is not my family, etc., etc., etc. But no matter how accepting I try to be, I cannot imagine any circumstance in which I would send my child around the world alone. In a boat. In the ocean. Where there are pirates.

And now I’m about to enrage every feminist on the planet, but here goes. I don’t care how smart, strong, or emotionally sound Abby is (and I suspect she is all of these things). A 16-year-old girl is no match for a shipload of pirates. Nor is a boy, for that matter. But really, I feel like her parents hand delivered her to pirates. Or to whatever other horrid, creepy dangers lurk in the ocean.

I pray she comes home safely and that her story is one of success. I pray the documentary has a happy ending. I pray that Abby gets to live a long, happy life in which she gets to recount one hell of a story, the story of how she sailed around the world by herself.

But I stand by this, children of mine: Do not get any wild ideas. I’m all for living your dreams and going for it and all that business. When you’re adults, I will bite my tongue (no I won’t – I’ll tell you what I think, but I won’t stand in your way), and I will pray my way through your adventures.

For now, however, if you want to go sailing, fine. Mommy will pack us a picnic and make sure we have lots of sunscreen and coastguard approved flotation devices. We’ll be home by dinner. Doesn’t that sound like a grand adventure, dear boys?