Dear Me, You, Us,

I was tasked with writing a letter from me to me. I’m writing now, which is the future to you; you’re reading now, which is the past to me. Confused yet?

Let’s put it this way. You are reading this in 1992. You’re 18. You’re about to go to college. Just keep reading. I’m sure it will all make sense eventually.

At first I balked about writing this letter.

Here’s the deal: I do not want to give away anything, nor do I want to change the course of our life. It is what it is. We don’t always understand what’s going on around us. We often question this life. But it’s ours. We believe, at our core, that there’s a reason for everything. We also believe that this life is what we made of it, for (mostly) better and for (every once in a while) worse.

I thought about not writing, but then I realized there are a few things I want us to know. I sincerely hope that nothing I tell you actually changes the eventual outcome. It would be okay, however, if our experience was enhanced. Nobody can argue with enhanced. Wait. Let’s not use the word enhanced. Just you wait until you see what the pharmaceutical companies are up to in the future. Enhancement is big. Pun totally intended. My guess is that 18-year-old me is clueless about why that’s funny. You’re scrunching up your face and just glossing over this portion of the letter, aren’t you?

Let’s say enriched. I want this advice to enrich our life.

Before we go too far, please know that there are some things this letter will not tell you:

:: How Old Future You is at This Writing
I know us. If you know what year this letter was written, you will spend the next however many years wondering why Future You chose to write when she did. And you will decide that Future You kicks the bucket shortly after this writing, and therefore you will live the years between now and then (or then and now? this is confusing) just waiting for something bad to happen.

:: What We Do For a Living
Knowing that might influence you too much. Make your own choices about what to study, and then about what to do with your education.

:: The Details of Your Family Situation
Like I would give you spoilers here! Oh wait. We didn’t talk in terms of spoilers in 1992, did we? We may have just said ruin the ending, or give away the ending. Future You cannot remember. Anyway, Spoiler Alerts are an issue in the future because you (everyone, not just you) will have easy access to a lot of information. That’s not what I’m here to talk about, but here’s a quick tip: that Apple IIE you have sitting on your desk is only the beginning. Embrace technology. It is your friend. Trust me here.

With that business out of the way, there are some things you need to know. Let’s get to it.

:: Your family is a rare thing.
Do not assume that everyone you meet comes from a similar background. Do not walk around with blinders on, blocking out things you might not want to see and hear. Learn as much as you can about those around you. Do not insulate yourself in your cozy, middle class bubble. The world is bigger than that.

:: At the same time, be grateful and appreciative for all you have.
Don’t feel guilty about your blessings. I think you already understand that while we are not wealthy, by any means, we are financially secure. That’s a lot more than many teenagers can say. What I’m really talking about, in terms of blessings, is the emotional and spiritual side of things. You are equipped to survive and succeed. Embrace your background. Appreciate that your family loves you unconditionally, providing you with a huge safety net. Enjoy it.

:: Please take chances.
Please say what you think. Please stand up for yourself. These things sound obvious and more than a little cliched. And yet. And yet, you need to hear me say this: stop being so cautious. Who cares if nobody agrees with your opinion? Be informed. Become educated. And then go forth with confidence.

:: That said, watch your mouth.
And watch your thoughts. Sometimes what you’re thinking escapes, either through your lips or through your fingers (that is, via the written word… we do not talk through our fingers in the future… except for sign language, of course.). If you’re thinking it, there’s a good chance you’ll say it one day and then you might regret it.

:: Be a little younger.
Stop trying to be so mature. Are you paying attention? I know we tend to skim when reading. Focus for a second. What I’m about to say sounds simple, but Future You knows that Now You does not get this: your adult life will, God willing, last much longer than your childhood. At the risk of giving some things away, I’ll tell you that your life as an adult is good. You become a respectable, responsible grown up person. All I’m saying is there’s no rush. If there’s something you want to try, somewhere you want to go, please give it a shot.

:: Hold tight to the people in your life.
Tell them you love them. Don’t give envy or pettiness an opportunity to creep into your relationships. Don’t waste time on negative emotions.

A few lighter notes:

:: Don’t slack off on fitness and nutrition.
Be vigilant. Go ahead, eat cake. By all means don’t go crazy with the health stuff. Just don’t get too relaxed. Future You is here to tell you that your metabolism is not that spectacular. Your joints and tendons kind of suck, too. Take care of them.

:: If you ever hear of something called a blog, don’t mock it and assume only computer geeks have blogs.
Trust me.

:: Never, ever wear pleated pants.
Never. You hear me?

:: On car buying…
There might be a time when you decide to buy a brand new car. Even though you can technically afford the new car, you should buy a cheaper, used car.

:: Travel.
Go. I mean it.

Oh, there is so much more I could share, but I really want you – us, me, whatever – to do things yourself, ourselves.

Have a great time at college. I don’t think it will be giving away anything if I just tell you this: we have a really good time in college. We study, we get decent grades, we are fairly responsible, and almost never oversleep or go to parties when we’re supposed to be studying for a statistics exam. We also have a whole lot of fun. Take pictures, both actual snapshots and mental snapshots. You will want to remember all of it.

Oh, okay. I’ll tell you one more little thing. If you’re ever hanging out and playing pool at that seedy joint on Bluebonnet Circle, please keep an eye on your purse, the tan Dooney & Bourke you saved up to buy. (An aside: Future You has more, cheaper purses rather than fewer, expensive purses. Something you might want to think about now.) Heeding my advice about watching your purse will save us a slightly drunken, middle of the night phone call home to have Dad cancel the credit card (you know, the card you can only use for emergencies? Wink.).

Love,
Me