I’m a magnet for strangers when we’re out and about.
Recently, I was in a friend’s yard alone, because I was just getting something out of the car, when a neighbor ambled up and proceeded to share intimate details of her family’s whereabouts (on a bike ride) and health (her son has MS but is doing quite well, and is on his way to college this week).
I was just trying to retrieve my sunglasses, yet there I was in a full-blown, albeit somewhat one-sided, conversation with Millie.
Do I appear approachable? If so, I’m glad. I think. But I do wonder how it is that I seem like Mrs. Friendly Chatterson, when my own inner dialogue is along the lines of “Lord, help me get out of this gracefully. Quick! Before I say something stupid!”
That’s why I prefer to write. In fact, I laughed out loud today when I saw this on Pinterest, pinned by the talented Ericka Clay:
Image pinned from http://www.weheartit.com, originally found on http://www.lifeisnotamovie.net
This is me. Absolutely.
I imagine that my brain employs management-level personnel. There’s an organized little lady who operates all business between my brain and the keyboard. She misses things occasionally; everyone has a bad day now and then. In general, however, the Brain-to-Keyboard Manager is on top of things. I imagine she’s a lot like Mrs. Garrett. Even though Tootie is zipping around on roller skates, and Blair and Jo are screaming at each other in the kitchen, my Mrs. Garrett-like manager somehow manages to wrap it all up, complete with a nice little moral at the end.
There’s another gal up there, though. The one in charge of managing everything between my brain and my mouth. She is a total mess. I’m pretty sure she’s been fired from every job she’s ever had, and now regularly brags to all the other managers about what a sweet gig this is. “You wouldn’t believe what I get away with! I send absurdities out her trap all day long, but I still have my job. Suckas!”
I imagine she is a bit more like Michael Scott. Clearly, I have zero control over her work product and I am incapable of firing her. Thanks to the Brain-to-Mouth Manager, the stupidest stuff comes out of my mouth. At all the wrong times.
If all of my conversations were like Words With Friends games, where you say your thing and then days – or weeks – later, I say my thing, it might be okay. The Brain-to-Mouth Manager could probably stop downloading 80’s TV theme songs long enough to help me say something meaningful. But when she has to operate in real time, forget it. I bumble, stumble, and blurt my way to humuliation more often than not.
Or I stay silent in an effort to avoid any gaffes. That’s fun, isn’t it, to have a one-sided conversation with someone who appears to be having some sort of internal dialogue (that would be me, trying to get Brain-to-Mouth Manager to operate on Brain-to-Keyboard Manager levels)?
This instant conversation business throws me. But I wish it didn’t.
Earlier today I read a post from Kelly at Mom Got Blog about being present in conversations. About opening up and letting the conversation happen, seeing where it takes you. The post left me choked up, because this is an area where I regularly fail, yet yearn to succeed.
I knew exactly what Kelly meant when she said,
… folks tend to open up to me about the strangest things; and sometimes, quite frankly, the folks themselves are strange.
When I have been on the receiving end of these discussions, My “fight or flight” sense would be on red alert…and most times I would smile and nod politely while screaming in my head, “Holy crap! Get me outta here!”
Yet, as I age, I have started to realize, I have missed opportunities to hear stories.
I wish I possessed the art of conversation, the power to elicit your story. A graceful way to share my story. The gift of forging a bond through words. Kelly’s post today inspired me to try harder, to put myself out there. I don’t want to miss any more of your story.
Therefore, do not be surprised if you find yourself on the other side of my awkward attempts at bonding. Be patient with me; I’m new at this.
I wonder…
:: Is there something you’re ready to change? What sparked your desire for change?
:: Do you feel you’re better live and in person, or on the page/computer screen?
***
Mom Got Blog‘s post was part of a new link up, Be Enough Me, on a new site: Just. Be. Enough. I think the site and the link-up are lovely ideas. In fact, I’m linking this post, simply so I can say thanks to Kelly and Elena for the inspiration.
Lapsed homemaker. Looking to hire a full-time housekeeper who will work for the sheer joy of a job well done and free coffee. Interested parties, DM please. 
Wow! Thank you so much for the kind words! 🙂
It is kind of strange, isn’t it? The way people will share when they don’t know you? Do you think it’s a sfety thing for them? Because they don’t know you?
I don’t know.
But, I will say, I am glad I got to know my travel friends. The trip went much faster! 🙂
What a thought-provoking post! Ummmm…I think it just depends on the day. Sometimes I think I am better over the internet, but then people don’t always receive the emotion they might if we were talking in person. I don’t want to miss anyone else’s story either! Well, I might pass on the story my neighbor down the street might have- the one who sits in his garage with nothing but his shorts on. I might need to write a blog post about that fella.
i’m always ready to change something….
i’m not necessarily better on the computer, but i’m definitely more real on the computer. (at least, i think so) i can express my thoughts and feelings much more clearly when i type… my husband actually reads my blog on a daily basis just so he knows how i really feel. yeah, i’m not better- just a little different. i’m anxious and shy and insecure in person- not much of that comes through in type.
I find it much easier to communicate through the written word than in person, and I don’t have a particularly welcoming face. It looks kinda mean unless I smile, and that’s so frustrating to me because I’m super nice! (However, it does prevent random people out in public from chit chatting with me too much. lol)
I think I’m better live and in person but if you ever met me, you might disagree.
I’m ready to change how lazy I’ve been about my health. Recently, a friend’s dad passed away suddenly due to complications with diabetes and that was a HUGE wakeup call for me. Ok, that was a bit depressing, wasn’t it?
Oh, I definitely write better than I talk. I have to take notes for the most general conversation so that I don’t forget my points! Glad to have found you too – I just email subscribed.
haha I can totally relate to the magnet for strangers thing. Somehow people find me approachable enough to immediately share their life stories.
My inner-monologue character is probably closer to Liz Lemon. Saying “blerg” a lot and “I want to go to there”.
You are so cute! I love your references to The Facts of Life and the Office. I speak without thinking all the time. It’s terrible. I sound incredibly ditzy but I’m really not. I just need to shut up for a second so I can realize how things sound. Glad you are putting yourself out there to try to engage more!
And how weird am I? I’m reading this and I’m still stuck on pinning. I have signed up for Pinterest but haven’t done it, and haven’t even been able to get the add-on to my browser. 🙁
Well. Yes yes yes, there’s something I want to change. Getting ‘er done, though. Not the easy part.
I saw that on Erika’s pin board thingy. It’s so true, and the font? love it. it’s a ‘me’ font.
Oh, I have a ton of things I want to change. For starters, I want more patience and less procrastination in my life 🙂
I have a girlfriend who’s a social worker. She is a serious conversation magnet. She hates to be left alone at weddings, because inevitably someone comes and corners her for long periods of time about their issues 🙂
Good luck working on the face to face conversations; I like having the safety of the keyboard, the ability to hit delete or proofread before I send 🙂
I wish I could be more spontaneous, less worried that if I don’t know about something ahead of time I’ll be unprepared to navigate the moment successfully.
I try to be a good sport. I really do. But when something changes in our plans, I can feel my throat clenching up and my veins throbbing…
I like my comfort zone. Too much. This applies to random conversations with strangers, for sure. I must have an approachable face because I, too, find myself on the receiving end of some pretty RAW stuff – ha!
I want to not be so worried about how clean my house is, what I’m wearing, whether or not I have enough food in the refrigerator for the unexpected guests.
Because really. No one cares about those details. People just want to be accepted and smiled at and welcomed. Right?
Right?
I’ll even let them tell me their stories…
I pinned the same thing the other day. I’m not too bad at small talk although some days I’m just not up for it but when it comes to sharing my feelings I am TERRIBLE at it. I can pour my heart out when I write but pretty much everyone in real life who reads my blog knows to never mention any of it to me in person.
Too bad we don’t live close, we could practice our awkwardness together. 🙂
I have learned that blurting what I think amuses some and offends others and that’s how I have to pick my friends.
Because otherwise it’s all embarrassment all the time.
—Oh, I am most definitely better on the page! I feel free, liberated, uninhibited. I can be a Bitch if I so desire. Yeah, Baby.
It’s my world. My space.
Loved the blog 🙂 xx
I’m definitely better in word that I am with my words out loud. I’m the quiet type by nature, very shy.
Strange folks tend to talk to me as well. I think those types of people need an outlet and they see the “quiet” ones as the sounding boards or sponge.
I’m so glad you can write so well then. No need for us to chat on the phone and for you to be all awkward. This relationship works just fine! ; )
I seriously love this because I am the exact same way! I can blog, chat, FB, tweet, and email all day, but start a conversation with me, and it is so one sided. I’m a very shy person so for me to open up takes some time.
My husband gets really annoyed with me because I’d much rather email him, and have a chance to think through my words, than speak live – especially if we’re discussing a heated topic.
I also hate the telephone for this reason. I’d much rather write. Always have, always will. I get this. 🙂
This is what the world does to us:
I used to just say whatever, but then I got so much heat from ppl on “what in the world did you just say?”
That I taught myself to shut up.
After years of this, I’ve become quiet.
And now look who the internet star is..saying whatever comes to mind.
Jenny Lawson.
I love her b/c she never let anybody shut her up.
THAT is why I love her.
My mom has an art for conversation and getting strangers (and everyone else) to share stories with her. I used to think I had it, too, but lately my brain-mouth filter (what I call it) is on strike, so I avoid conversations for fear that I will be constantly trying to remove my foot from my mouth. Maybe once I start sleeping again, it’ll come back. Meanwhile, I think it’s great that we all have so many options for bonding now: in person, virtual, taking a long time to think, or instantly. Visiting from SITS and enjoying your blog!
I couldn’t agree more with your pin! Writing is so much easier because you can write it, read it, fix it and repeat until it’s just right. With speaking… once it falls out of your mouth that’s it. Game over.
I love talking to people in person, but it seems as I age, I don’t do it as well as I used to. I don’t know if I’m so used to being interrupted by little ones that I have a hard time finishing my thoughts, but I truly feel I sound like an idiot these days.
I love writing because I feel like I’m able to finish a complete thought because I’m never interrupted by little voices asking for something. My mind can stay on track.