I don’t typically relish hearing about other people’s dreams, unless I’m experiencing insomnia. Talk about a snooze-fest. You start droning on about your dream, and I’m well on my way to a few of my own.
I, however, have fascinating dreams and make people listen to my “I had a dream…” stories all the time.
What? It’s not my fault other people have dull dreams compared to my riveting, somnolent adventures. Stick with me here and we’ll get to some of the more captivating stuff. But first, a little dissertation on what I dream about when my to-do list becomes unmanageable.
Around the holidays I always have very typical holiday stress dreams:
:: I forgot to buy presents.
:: I can’t remember where I hid the presents.
:: I completely miss Christmas and don’t realize it until many days later.
Any other time I’m stressed I have the classic stress dreams. And because none of us can help ourselves, and we all feel compelled to share our dreams, I know that a lot of you have nearly identical stress dreams. I find it really odd that, according to my extensive research, about 99.9% of the population reports dreams similar in nature to the following:
:: I have a final for which I didn’t study.
:: It’s time to take a final and I realize I never once attended the class.
:: I paid someone else to attend class for me all semester, but when it comes time for the final, she takes it as herself.
:: I show up to school/work/a funeral in very inappropriate attire. Or no attire. (My favorite of these dreams: first day of high school in an over-sized Schlitterbahn tank top – read: gaping arm holes – and no bra underneath, sweatpants with inconveniently located holes, and no shoes.)
:: I can’t find my college class, and I’m wandering around buildings with M.C. Escher-esque stairways.
:: I’m in some kind of life or death situation, fighting off gunmen or helping people escape from a crazed lunatic.
Often, even though the dreams themselves are odd, I wake up and understand why I spent my night imagining those situations. I can usually tie my dreams to something I was thinking, talking or worrying about. Lately, though, I have no explanation.
Over the past few nights, I’ve dealt with:
:: Every flooring surface in my entire house being covered with fish. Small, live fish.
:: I get a phone call from Dooce, explaining why she urgently needs to move somewhere with canals and wineries.
:: I am berating a young man and his shifty-eyed jeweler for their selection of engagement ring options for my friend. (A. I don’t know said friend. Never seen in her in my life. But in the dream she is very dear to me; B. I let that jeweler have it: What is this? This is crap. Tacky crap. Get me round – not heart – solitaire diamonds – and nothing pink – on a plain band. Now. NOW!; C. I’m either the perfect advocate to take with you when jewelry shopping or the absolute worst jewelry shopper on the planet. It’s hard to say.)
So bring it on, dream interpreters. What’s eating at me?
I wonder…
:: What are your stress dreams?
:: Do you place any value or weight on your dreams? Do you think they’re telling you something?
:: Do you remember your dreams vividly or only in hazy snapshots (I, in case it’s not obvious, remember them vividly)?
Lapsed homemaker. Looking to hire a full-time housekeeper who will work for the sheer joy of a job well done and free coffee. Interested parties, DM please. 
I remember them vividly until I’m awake for about 15 minutes and they are mostly gone after that.
Canals and wineries are wonderful in nearly every situation.
I have had the sleeping through final dream as well as the taking a test though never been to class dream.
You are concerned about the cleanliness of your house, or maybe you just really want to talk to dooce.
I dreamt all night that I couldn’t find my house. It was disturbing.
Um. Those are wild. Your subconscious life is obviously much more exciting than the average person’s!
The doctor is in…
Your fish dreams – clearly because you are such a Christian at heart.
The Jeweler dream – you are a defender of the defenseless, darnit!
My dreams lately have been about clicking links, leaving comments, writing posts – guess what’s on my mind?
i used to have an entire blog dedicated to recording my crazy assed dreams. they are very vivid, long, and memorable. i can almost always figure out what triggers them.
my stress dreams, in contrast to my ‘normal’ dreams, are almost always nothing but feeling… it’s a feeling similar to having a single strand of hair in your head being pulled, but never actually coming out. i’ve been having that one since i was a kid. it really, really sucks.
sometimes, i even have trouble banishing the dreams after i open my eyes… i once jumped clear OVER my husband in bed after waking up with the face of my nightmare superimposed over the face of a print hanging in my bedroom.
sorry i have no interpretations of your own dreams for you… i’m a hardcore believer in dreams being based on our own subconscious, and that the only truly accurate translator of a dream, is the dreamer his or herself.
In college I used to dream at least once a week that someone was trying to kill me. Once it was my jr high art teacher, in cahoots with my dad. Once it was my printmaking professor and TA, and the staff said “Oh yeah, he does that…” But they were truly scary!
When my twins first came home from the NICU, I would frequently have scary dreams that we had misplaced one of them, or once that I was trying to tread choppy water while holding one of them above. Again, ver’ scary.
And last night it was trying to make my husband understand that we couldn’t possibly go on a run to World Market and leave the baby at home roaming around the house. I mean, it totally made more sense to leave her at home alone while she was sleeping.
Hope I didn’t bore you with my dreams!
Missy, you do NOT want to know about my dreams. My dreams could put Hollywood out of business, seriously. Subconscious? Ha! How about, overactive imagination? I know that’s my problem.
Bwhahaaha! Love the fish dream. Maybe you need a new pet?