In a little less than 120 hours, I will be a half marathon finisher. Even if it kills me, and based on the symphony of aches and pains I have right now it just might kill me, I will run/walk/crawl 13.1 miles on Saturday, March 23 at ZOOMA Texas.
When I started this journey, I had one big goal and one smaller (tastier) goal:
:: The big one? To become a runner again. The last time I called myself a runner, the time I ran 26.2 miles in Hawaii, I had a different body and a different life. I was in my 20’s, childless, and had not yet nearly destroyed my calf muscles. That was almost a decade-and-a-half ago. I miss that woman, the one who ran.
:: My littler goal? To continue eating tacos and carbs without getting any fatter than I already am. As goals go, it’s not exactly noble. But it tastes good.
Come to mama.
Now, three months into the journey and less than a week away from the race, I’ve eaten a whole lot of tacos (breakfast tacos, lunch tacos, snack tacos…) and a few doughnuts.
More significantly, I found her. The runner woman. She’s still disguised in some extra pounds (see: tacos and carbs), but she’s closer to the surface than she has been for many years.
On the path to… me.
I think a lot about why I run. As the miles slip slowly beneath my feet, my mind wanders, stopping off at the mundane (To-Do-List-Land) and the fantastic (When-I-Win-The-Lottery-Berg). No matter what I daydream about, my mind always makes a stop at Why-Am-I-Doing-This-Ville?
I learned something over the miles: there isn’t one, simple reason to run. Depending on the day, my answers have included:
:: Community, both the abstract sense of community you get as you nod or gasp out, “Morning!” to strangers on the trail, and the concrete sense of community through something like ZOOMA. Reading blog posts and Facebook updates from ambassadors and Muscle Milk Light Half Marathon Challenge participants always lifts my spirits. Their encouragement gets me out the door on days I don’t wanna, and they talk me down from my panicky cliff when a run goes badly.
:: Gear. Really. I love all the stuff. Garmin watch, compression socks, Spibelt, tech tees, and shoes, oh my.
Compression socks. Sexy, yes? No.
:: Getting in tune with, well, me. I feel stronger, mentally and physically, after a long run. I remember now that I can. Can what? Just about whatever I decide to, that’s what. We all have our limitations, but remember: we’re not defined by our limitations – and more importantly, we can change them. In December I struggled with three miles, but today three miles is a fun, easy distance. Limitation, schmimatation.
Running in Central Park. Can’t think of better place to find myself.
:: Nature. I’m not that outdoorsy. I don’t camp, and heaven help us all if I have to hide among the trees to take care of business that God surely never intended to be an outside activity. When I’m on a run, though, I feel very Walden about it all. Gale force winds aside, I love the sun on my face and watching bluebonnets sprout along the trail. I appreciate rock formations that provide shade. I find a train trestle that once provided the pathway for moving granite used to build our state capitol building.
One of my favorite spots. I think the center rock looks like a turtle’s head. Do you see it?
:: Sanity. All that hullabaloo about endorphins happens to be true. I have a sunnier outlook when I run, and I think everyone in my house appreciates that. I don’t have the scientific evidence to back it up just now, but if we were to all Google it, I can guarantee we’d find study after study espousing the benefits of a body filled with oxygenated blood. Circulation is good, yo.
:: Food. I may have mentioned that? I’m an unapologetic lover of stuff that tastes good. Now that I’m closing in on 40, even 13.1 miles isn’t enough to warrant eating whatever I want, but it sure helps. I still have to behave myself most of the time. Running means I don’t feel guilty about the other times, though.
Homemade doughnuts. Have mercy.
Saturday is going to be hard. It’s a hilly course, and central Texas has been windy lately (oh, how I hate you, wind). When I have to dig deep, I will let my mind wander through the whys, and remember that struggle isn’t a bad thing. Struggle, in fact, is the slow process of chipping away the junk, allowing strength and character to shine through.
I wonder…
:: Why do you run (or bike or do martial arts or climb or whatever it is you do)?
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Some ZOOMA-related business for you: Check out the Run to Chi-Town Sweepstakes. Please enter, win, and take me with you!
Lapsed homemaker. Looking to hire a full-time housekeeper who will work for the sheer joy of a job well done and free coffee. Interested parties, DM please. 
Love those beautiful trail pictures. I have missed that trail these past couple months.
I run because it’s challenging and because it feels good when I’m done. I run because it’s something that’s all for ME. I run to hear the quiet of no cell phones or “mommy, I need…” requests. And like you, I run so that I can eat. Because chocolate and queso are such wonderful things. Well, not together. But you know what I mean.
Not gonna lie. I’m nervous about running this race Saturday. Your words of encouragement are perfectly timed. We can do anything we decide to do. And I’ve decided to finish.
I am so nervous, too! We can do this, though. (And oh, man, queso… can’t resist it.)
You describe it all so perfectly. I love throwing up the “runner’s wave,” and after you blast 1600 calories in the race, you can eat as many donuts, tacos, or taco donuts that you want.
I’ve noticed that when I skip a scheduled run, either because I flake out or the scheduling isn’t working out? I am the crankiest person alive. Look out.
(Also, I can’t pee in the woods to save my life. Pee. Everywhere.)
Thanks, LA!
I have a funny pee in the woods story… thinking I may need to blog that one. I’d forgotten about it until writing this post. It really is one of the most difficult things to manage.
I am nowhere near you in terms of the miles! The longest I’ve run so far is six miles. I’ve started running last summer. And I, too, love running in Central Park!
I really don’t know why I do it, except that it helps me clear my mind, helps me feel happier, and helps me keep the weight off.
But I guess these are reasons enough!
Oh, those are absolutely reasons enough!
well first of all let me say I am in AWE. I run 3 miles, about 3 times a week, and I’m drenched in sweat and sore all over the next morning.
I run so I can eat what I want. But I’m *starting* to run because I kinda love it.
Always outside. Never on the treadmill.
Wishing you a great run this weekend!
Thanks, Amy! Now that you’re loving it, we should pick a race to do some time (I’m always looking for a good excuse to travel somewhere fun).
And yes – outside is the only way to go.
I’m excited for you! Have fun! I think I actually miss running…after my half in 2010 I basically quit and do miss that feeling of satisfaction after a long run. You might have inspired me to sign up for a run…probably not 13.1 though!
I COMPLETELY quit after my marathon, so I get it. I really, really get it! It’s good to be back. Let’s pick a race (a 10K maybe?!) and sign up!
Omigosh, I eat Jess Specials EVERY SINGLE Saturday morning after my long run! I’m so excited for you, Missy…congratulations on all you’ve accomplished. You’ve done the hard part, now you just need to show up on Saturday. Go get em!
The Jess is my weakness. Well, tacos are my weakness, but the Jess is my favorite!
Thanks for the kind words. It was an awesome race. Now to work on making the next one a speedier race… 😉
Oh, Missy!! You will do AWESOME!!!
When you get to mile 11 (because you WILL), hear me in your head saying
“You GOT This!”
When you cross the finish (Because you WILL), grab a chocolate muscle milk and a doughnut and say cheers.
Then give that shiny new bling that is draped around your neck a big wet kiss!
I thought of you at mile 11 (and I needed it, because mile 11 SUCKED) – thank you so much, Kelly!!
Hope you’re feeling better today.
I run, because I need the solitude. I take martial arts classes (Kenpo, specifically) because I need the social interaction. One of my weaknesses is my social anxiety and personal boundary issues (as in, I don’t like people getting too close) so what better way to get the F over it then take a martial arts? I think the key to staying happy and growing as a person is constantly pushing the boundaries of what you think you can do.
I like the solitude, too. And I’m impressed at your motivation to kick your anxiety to the curb – easier said than done, I know. You rock!
I’m not much of a runner really but I’m trying to get into it more! I do like the treadmill and elliptical at the gym a lot and feel so much better when I’ve spent some quality time on them. Running outside… well that’s just not possible yet here in Michigan.
I admire that you can do the treadmill! I’m an outdoor girl, all the way. But I can do the elliptical in a pinch, especially if there’s good TV on. 😉