There’s a word that likely calls up very different images for different people. Depending on your maturity level and where your mind is currently located, you may have thought,

“Heh. She said balls.”

“Oooh. Maybe this is a post about fancy parties and she will have pictures of ball gowns.” (In which case, you are either new here or you haven’t been paying attention. Not a lot of ball gown-wearing opportunities around here.)

“Balls? Soccer balls? Footballs? Is this a sports blog?” (Again, only the uninitiated could be so misled.)

Probably, though, you thought,

“Heh. She said balls.”

In which case, you’re my kind of gal (or guy).

I won’t keep you hanging any longer (and yes, pun intended). The balls to which I’m referring are chocolate. And peanut butter. And they are slap-your-mama, rub-in-your-hair good.

My dad has been making chocolate balls every Christmas for 40 years. These things are legen – wait for it – dary.* If you have known my parents for more than 15 minutes, particularly at holiday time, you know chocolate balls. Chances are pretty good that you have eaten enough of them to make yourself sick. That’s part of the fun.

Someone, who shall remain nameless – but it starts with M and rhymes with Rahm, and she gave birth to me – once had way too many chocolate balls and a few too many gin and tonics. She couldn’t even look at a chocolate ball for several years after that. My dad continued to make them, though, because everyone else in the family and friends circle expects them.

The true beauty of these balls? They are not only crazy delicious, but they also provide comic relief. For our purposes here, my dad’s name is Joe. At least once at every holiday gathering, someone shouts out one of the following gems:

“Have you tried Joe’s balls yet?”

“Oh, Joe’s balls are delicious!”

You, because you are my very favorite reader (shhh, don’t tell the others), are in for an amazing treat today. After some careful deliberation, we – me and my dad, uh, Joe – are sharing the recipe with you.

The official name of these little balls of goodness is Lazy Cookies, but do not be fooled. While not overly complicated, this recipe is time consuming. It’s worth your time, though, because you end up with somewhere in the neighborhood of seven dozen chocolate balls to share with your friends and family; they transport well and they freeze beautifully.

Speaking of freezing them… The year I was pregnant with H, I was paranoid about my upcoming glucose test, so I didn’t eat any sweets at Christmas. My parents sent a bag of balls (yes, again, intended pun) home with me. I stuck them in the freezer, and promptly forgot about them.

Cut to a month later: glucose test over – as in I came home from the test and immediately ran to the freezer because what’s done is done, and I just remembered there are chocolate balls stashed in there – and I’m sitting on the sofa, feet propped up, making myself absolutely ill on chocolate balls. That’s a delayed Christmas miracle, if you ask me. Although in all honesty, like my mother before me, I passed on the chocolate balls the next Christmas.

The moral here may be that while these little round pieces of heaven are delicious, moderation is key. Eat a few, share the rest.

Do Not Eat In One Sitting.

Chocolate Balls

To make balls:
2 Sticks unsalted butter, melted
1 Cup graham cracker crumbs
1 Cup flaked coconut
16 oz. powdered sugar
6 oz. crunchy peanut butter
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

To make chocolate coating:
2 oz. (1/2 bar) of Gulf Wax (paraffin wax)
12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips

Combine melted butter, graham cracker crumbs, coconut, powdered sugar, peanut butter and vanilla. Mix well (using your hand seems to work best).
Roll into balls (approximately ¾” to 1” in diameter).
Set aside.

Melt the paraffin wax in double boiler.
Stir in chocolate until melted.
Roll the balls in the chocolate, then set aside to cool (placing the balls on a wire cooling rack will ensure you don’t get little chocolate “feet” on your balls).

Store in a covered container or in the freezer. Depending on the size, yield is approx. 80 to 90.

*I love Barney on How I Met Your Mother. Suit up!