Comments on: Are You Comfortable in Your Skin (Color)?

By: Star Traci

Star Traci — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 23:32:31 +0000

It’s a terrific question. My daughter used to loudly point out skin color. Not because she thought any thing was wrong just observing. Her father and I, however, would wish the earth would swallow us up. Why? I’m not sure. She was simply being a toddler pointing out the obvious — that we all have differences. Why did we assume that different had to mean bad? Looking back, I think it was good. We talked at an early age that God made us all different. We pointed out that my husband (of Italian descent) had darker skin than I (of Irish and German descent).

On a happy side note, her favorite Disney princess is Tiana from the Princess and the Frog.
🙂
Traci

By: The Mommy Psychologist

The Mommy Psychologist — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 08:02:06 +0000

My son is 3 and from out of nowhere he is aware of skin color. He says that I am pink and his dad is black:) Which, I guess is true. I’m not exactly white. We’ve been having lots of interesting conversations. Mostly, I am letting him lead the way. I’m learning from him.

By: Kristy @PampersandPinot

Kristy @PampersandPinot — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 20:25:50 +0000

My boy attends a very diverse daycare and preschool. He frequently says things like, I played with Jimmy today. He’s white. And then, we played with DJ. He’s black. So, we’ve talked about how people have different skin colors and then I try to just listen and not comment about it. There was only 1 time I was uncomfortable about it. My boy said, Mommy, there is a black man outside. So, I felt like I had to talk to him about how there’s much more to a person than their skin color, and we don’t have to identify them that way. I don’t know. It was hard to explain to him. I just hope that most people know that kids just speak honestly and aren’t intending to offend, and as they get older they will learn more of the nuances about what is “ok” or not.

By: Martha

Martha — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:22:02 +0000

In reply to Leigh Ann.

Hey Leigh Ann, that’s very nice at preschool age, but what about as they get older? The research shows that it’s really important to discuss skin color with your kids so they get comfortable with more complex topics surrounding it as they age.

Here’s a really good article for reference: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2009/09/04/see-baby-discriminate.html

By: Leigh Ann

Leigh Ann — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 17:24:20 +0000

It’s interesting because my girls are the only kids in their MDO class who are not from India or the Middle East. But they don’t have a clue about any of that. They love their classmates and talk about them all the time. They don’t get that they have names that are different from the rest of us or care that their skin is darker. I love that.

By: Ellie {Musing Momma}

Ellie {Musing Momma} — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 17:21:01 +0000

“Let’s not assume that we must be the same in order to be equal.” Love this!

I think our kids can be great teachers about how to see skin color as just that – skin color. We try to keep it a very matter-of-face discussion in our house and to point out all the shades around us. I just bought some great kids books about this! My oldest says “Daddy is brown, Mommy is tan, and I’m tannish-brownish.”

By: Martha

Martha — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 02:47:18 +0000

In reply to Kate F. @katefineske. Thanks Kate!

By: Kate F. @katefineske

Kate F. @katefineske — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 02:40:18 +0000

WOW! Loved this guest post. Thanks for “sharing her” with me 😉

By: Martha

Martha — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 02:19:56 +0000

In reply to MommaKiss.

Thanks for your comment Mommakiss! I think it’s great that your kids can discuss skin color with positive connotations. Like you said, it’s important to make the distinction. Skin color doesn’t have to be negative, which is why I believe it’s healthy and important to talk about it in every day life as just another identifier, just like “he’s loud” or “she’s got swirly hair” there’s nothing wrong with saying, “he’s got brown skin” or “she’s white.” Thanks for stopping by!

By: MommaKiss

MommaKiss — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 22:07:17 +0000

To answer your second question, currently I view my skin as angry because it’s breaking out like crazy. I don’t like it. No matter what shade it may be.

Thinking about discussing skin color with my kids, well, we’re pretty literal about it. Like your “light brown, dark brown” conversation. They have both been in daycare since infants and their primary caregiver there was Angele – from Senegal. She had the most beautiful creamy skin “like chocolate” they would say. We live in a pretty diverse area – and whenever they try to explain someone in their class, it’s rare that they use the skin color to describe them. It’s more “he’s really loud” or she has the short “swirly hair” or he has “spots” on his face (freckles).
For this – I’m grateful, because my own upbringing was the complete opposite.