Not feeling rosy?

I’ve got a bone to pick with, well, everyone and everything. Oh, you know what you did.

Do you ever feel this way? If not, move along, because we can’t be friends. You’re lovely, but honestly, you never get irrationally angry at the entire world?

The rest of you people can hang around, because we’re absolutely going to be best friends. Crazy people got to stick together.

I didn’t have time to do the extensive research I usually do when I’m wondering about something. You know, like Google it and spend minutes at a time skimming the search results. I’m super busy this week. No, really, I am. Not Murder, She Wrote marathon busy, but actual real life stuff busy.

Therefore, instead of in-depth reporting, I read just one site: Yahoo! Answers. Completely reliable, that site. One hundred percent legit. Plus, there’s an exclamation point in the name of the site. Solid! Advice! NPR’s Ask Me Another sometimes plays a game using Yahoo! Answers responses, and NPR is the real deal. I know what they’re doing and what I’m doing is not at all the same, but I don’t care.

Here’s what the wise folk of Yahoo! Answers had to say about irrational irritability, along with my responses in red (color! Ooooo!). The answers have not been edited for grammar, spelling, or punctuation, because that would take away from the complete dependability of the fine people of Yahoo! Answers. I did not include answer writers’s names, because now that? That would be mean.

You don’t need to calm down, you need a vent.

Like an air vent? A dryer vent? Armpit vents in a ski jacket? Cool. Got all those things.

Jean-Paul Sartre said it best – “Hell is other people”

Googled it. According to the internet, he did say that, although with a period after people. Jean-Paul saying it or not, this is not helpful advice. Thanks for nothing.

Check you blood pressure.

Check you blood pressure, dopes. Say I do check it and it’s fine, because I have excellent blood pressure. Now what do you have to say? Huh? Now what? Hold on… feeling lightheaded. Perhaps I should check my blood pressure again.

Buy a carton of ice cream and eat it all.

Check.

Try writing your feelings down in a journal.

Who needs a journal when you have the entire internet? Check.

Try drumming, beating the hell out of some drums might make you feel better

My family did not appreciate this suggestion. My kids thought they should be allowed to drum. No freaking way does drum playing kids help a negative mood.

Bad moods are infectious and need to be addressed immediately.

But how? How do I address it? Dear Infectious Mood? Ms. Infectious Mood? Your Highness, The Most Infectious of Moods?

I know the following admission is going to discount this entire post (so what?), but the truth is I only felt this irritated for a few minutes today. Please don’t be concerned that I’m walking around in a state of permanent anger and malaise. Mostly, I’m a happy person. It’s amazing, though, how many annoying things I can think of or encounter in such a short span of time. If you’re looking for things to be angry about it’s pret-ty easy to find them.

According to an article from Huffpost Healthy Living, we are designed to look for the negative. Being aware of bad stuff saved our skins in times when we battled the elements and sharp-toothed creatures daily.

“If you have a penchant for detecting and dwelling on the negative, it’s no cause for alarm. In fact, you are simply a product of intelligent human design whereby bad overpowers good. That’s right — humans were designed to be keenly aware of negative circumstances and consequences as it helped our ancestors survive.”

(Yeah, so I spent a few minutes really reading about irritability and bad attitudes, but only a few.)

Designed this way or not – and hoooo, boy, am I ever designed to start with the bad and slowly work my way around to the good – I greatly prefer seeing the best in people and situations. Because my natural inclination is to look at the world and say, meh, I have to actively seek the good.

I look for the funny and the kind and the beautiful. The more I seek those things, the easier it becomes to find them. It’s less about looking and more about seeing. It’s easier, but not natural. I guess that’s why for a five minute span of time today I was Googling I hate everything!

The upshot here is, thanks to my inborn will to survive, I’m probably going to sense the saber-toothed cat before it eats us. My hope is that I was at least enjoying the beautiful sunrise before the mean kitty started chasing us.

I’m wondering about this today:

How is it we seem to be wired for unreasonable optimism (see my last post) and a negative outlook all at the same time? I’m constantly looking at the world with wide-eyed wonder, and saying, man, people are crazy! Perhaps this is why. Perhaps all of our pre-wired wires are criss-crossed and confused. Thoughts?

(Bonus for today! Like my friend Joann, I’m going to give you a song to go with this post. One of my favorites – Something So Right by Paul Simon. Go have a listen.)

*Photo credit